Help me, my dog was kidnapped today! I heard him barking when a police officer pushed me down and told me that my dog was being quarantined for smallpox and that I would have to wear a sweater to protect myself from the cold summer rain. I, being a skilled computer hacker, broke into my own home and fell asleep. Upon waking up, I realized that my dog was gone and that my entire memory of the 2008 Olympics was erased by space aliens who had made me fail my driver's test! I tried to call the AA helpline, but my iguana "Stacy Gold-Chainz" stopped me. She told me that if I call them, we will die from hepatitis! Stacy would never lie to me, but I feel like she is. What should I do?
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